dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

lucyliuism:

g0thamsreckoning:

oh my gOD 

i hAVE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR 29834798234 YEARS

(Source: timkarinn)

aymmichurros:

i saw this vine months ago and since then i couldn’t stop thinking aboUT JEAN

wesley-crusher:

deepspacednine:

likeafieldmouse:

Luis Camnitzer - The Photograph (1981)

image

The Screenshot (2014)

The Reblog (2014)

notyourexrotic:

kitten-pants:

tinasus:

notyourexrotic:

HP Goblet of Fire Headcanon: Beauxbatons was primarily a Muslim wizarding school.

(photo from livesandliesofwizards, which was the first thing I thought of when I ran into this passage while rereading the Harry Potter books)

(and yes I know the horses drink whisky, which is not exactly halal, sshhh)

Its was french. It s
Was so clearly french.

Literally French. …….

….
.

Because French Muslims do not exist and no Muslims ever speak French and Muslim schools don’t exist in France and if they do they must be really shitty and there are no key Muslim educators in France at all and there’s never been any history of Islamic culture and politics in the Pottermore-confirmed Pyreenes, nooooooo, it is très impossible! Astagfirrulah!

except…NO.

learn some fuckin’ social studies and history and current affairs, people.

eva-002:

shadetastic:

you can have FOUR

i feel like this is how the belcher’s do grocery lists

twlohasmp:

-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying
-white haired anime boys dying

feeltheillinoise-:

EVERY FCUKING TIEM I CAN’T HANDLE THIS JOKE

(Source: dickbuttofficial)

corruptduskdarthon:

Best thing ever

(Source: creepypasta-raven)

narukee:

©☛☛三野

arin666:

ARIN HANSON IS LITERALLY ME

dyannehs:

dyannehs:

HOLY SHIT.  MY NEIGHBOUR IS SCREAMING AT HER BOYFRIEND.  Yeah, the two that keep me up at odd hours of the night. AND I’M ONLY PICKING UP BITS AND PIECES BECAUSE HE’S NOT SHOUTING BUT I’M FAIRLY POSITIVE HE JUST TOLD HER HE’S GAY AND THAT HE’S BEEN CHEATING ON HER WITH HIS BOYFRIEND.

UPDATE.  UPDATE.  HE’S CHEATING ON HER WITH HER BROTHER.

SON OF A BITCH IT’S LIKE A BAD SOAP OPERA EPISODE.

Okay, okay, I’m going to tell you what Hermione sees in Ron.

A trio is a balancing act, right? They’re equalizers of each other. Harry’s like the action, Hermione’s the brains, Ron’s the heart. Hermione has been assassinated in these movies, and I mean that genuinely—by giving her every single positive character trait that Ron has, they have assassinated her character in the movies. She’s been harmed by being made to be less human, because everything good Ron has, she’s been given.

So, for instance: “If you want to kill Harry, you’re going to have to kill me too”—RON, leg is broken, he’s in pain, gets up and stands in front of Harry and says this. Who gets that line in the movie? Hermione.

“Fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself.” Hermione doesn’t say Voldemort’s name until well into the books—that’s Dumbledore’s line. When does Hermione say it in the movies? Beginning of Movie 2.

When the Devil’s Snare is curling itself around everybody, Hermione panics, and Ron is the one who keeps his head and says “Are you a witch or not?” In the movie, everybody else panics and Hermione keeps her head and does the biggest, brightest flare of sunlight spell there ever was.

So, Hermione—all her flaws were shaved away in the films. And that sounds like you’re making a kick-ass, amazing character, and what you’re doing is dehumanizing her. And it pisses me off. It really does.

In the books, they balance each other out, because where Hermione gets frazzled and maybe her rationality overtakes some of her instinct, Ron has that to back it up; Ron has a kind of emotional grounding that can keep Hermione’s hyper-rationalness in check. Sometimes Hermione’s super-logical nature grates Harry and bothers him, and isn’t the thing he needs even if it’s the right thing, like when she says “You have a saving people thing.” That is the thing that Harry needed to hear, she’s a hundred percent right, but the way she does it is wrong. That’s the classic “she’s super logical, she’s super brilliant, but she doesn’t know how to handle people emotionally,” at least Harry.

So in the books they are this balanced group, and in the movies, in the movies—hell, not even Harry is good enough for Hermione in the movies. No one’s good enough for Hermione in the movies—God isn’t good enough for Hermione in the movies! Hermione is everybody’s everything in the movies.

Harry’s idea to jump on the dragon in the books, who gets it in the movies? Hermione, who hates to fly. Hermione, who overcomes her withering fear of flying to take over Harry’s big idea to get out of the—like, why does Hermione get all these moments?

[John: Because we need to market the movie to girls.]

I think girls like the books, period. And like the Hermione in the books, and like the Hermione in the books just fine before Hollywood made her idealized and perfect. And if they would have trusted that, they would have been just fine.

Would the movies have been bad if she was as awesome as she was in the books, and as human as she was in the books? Would the movies get worse?

She IS a strong girl character. This is the thing that pisses me off. They are equating “strong” with superhuman. To me, the Hermione in the book is twelve times stronger than the completely unreachable ideal of Hermione in the movies. Give me the Hermione in the book who’s human and has flaws any single day of the week.

Here’s a classic example: When Snape in the first book yells at Hermione for being an insufferable know-it-all, do you want to know what Ron says in the book? “Well, you’re asking the questions, and she has to answer. Why ask if you don’t want to be told?” What does he say in the movie? “He’s got a point, you know.” Ron? Would never do that. Would NEVER do that, even before he liked Hermione. Ron would never do that.

—Melissa Anelli THROWS IT DOWN about the way Ron and Hermione have been adapted in the movies on the latest episode of PotterCast. Listen here. This glorious rant starts at about 49:00.  (via emilyisobsessed)

(Source: karakamos)

meowvgonspengler:

gamzee:

gamzee:

I’m sure somebody’s thought of this before, but the best thing about the tentacle genitalia headcanon is it means feferi’s lusus and the horrorterrors would essentially appear to the trolls as a giant writhing mass of dicks and

if that’s not hilarious I really don’t think I know what is.

A year and almost 6k notes later it finally occurs to me that, no, i don’t think anybody had actually been aware.

image

spasticstarfish-forever:

AU where Harry is openly pansexual and Draco is closeted gay and he’s only ever told Pansy and secretly they would talk about cute boys during class and stuff (but Draco always somehow finding a flaw)
Meanwhile Harry is having sex with anyone he lays his eyes on…